What do you do with hypothetical worries?
We cannot control when hypothetical worries come up for us. Simply telling yourself “stop worrying about it” usually does not work. In fact, the more we try not to think about something, the more it can seem to pop back into our heads. Try not to think of a pink elephant. Are you also currently thinking of a pink elephant?
This is where Worry Time can help.
What is Worry Time?
Imagine your brain is like your work email inbox. Throughout the day, emails (worries) keep popping up: some important, some not, and some completely irrelevant. If you stop what you are doing every time a new email comes in, you may feel overwhelmed, distracted and exhausted.
What do most people do with work emails? They set aside specific times during the day to check and respond to them. Outside those times, they let the emails sit there. They might notice them, but choose not to engage until the right time.
Worry Time works in a similar way. It means setting aside a short, specific period to engage with worries, rather than allowing a worry to follow you around all day.
You might choose 20–30 minutes at 6 pm as your Worry Time. If a worry appears at 11 am, you could acknowledge it:
“That's a worry. I do not need to solve it right now. I will come back to it at 6 pm.”
Make a note of the worry and gently bring your attention back to what you were doing.
You are not ignoring the worry
It can feel strange at first, particularly if you are used to believing that you need to solve a worry as soon as it appears. You are not ignoring the worry. You are practising choosing when to engage with it, rather than allowing it to decide when you think about it.
When Worry Time arrives, look back at the worries you have noted. You might find that a worry no longer feels as important, that you have a different perspective, or that you still want to spend some time thinking about it. The aim is not necessarily to make the worry disappear. It is to practise taking back control over when and how you engage with worry.
Find a time and place that works
There is no one perfect time of day. Some people may prefer the morning, while others may prefer the afternoon or early evening. Choose somewhere comfortable and quiet where you are unlikely to be interrupted.
Avoid Worry Time immediately before bed. Spending 20–30 minutes thinking about worries just before trying to sleep is unlikely to be helpful.
Give Worry Time a boundary
Set a clear boundary around your Worry Time. You might set a timer for your chosen amount of time, perhaps 20–30 minutes, and use it as a cue to stop.
The aim is not to solve every worry. You are practising choosing when to engage with worry and when to move your attention elsewhere. It may help to plan something pleasant or absorbing afterwards, such as listening to music, going for a walk, watching something you enjoy, calling a friend or doing something that requires your attention.
When a worry keeps appearing
You do not need to force a worry out of your mind. Trying to make a thought disappear can make you think about it even more. Instead, notice the worry without getting caught up in it, remind yourself that you have written it down, and deliberately bring your attention back to the current activity.
“That's a worry. I've written it down, and I'll come back to it during Worry Time.”